Wednesday, 23 March 2011


Conversation 1

A:Hey Tom, It's Juan.
B:Hey,Juan,What's up,man?
A:Nothing at all. Have you received my message?
B:Yes,but I don't understand it.
A:Why? I think that I spoke clearly.
B:Maybe you did,but I don't understand chinese.
A:It was in english...
B:Oh, then I think that you have to improve a little bit your english,well,whatever the language.What did you mean?
A:Well, I have a problem,man, a big trouble. Do you know that gorgeous girl called Nataly?
B:Yes, a beautiful one, you're really lucky,man.
A:Yes,in part.Well, it seems that we had a crazy night the last saturday and it seems that it has been translated in a pregnancy.
B:What!!?? Are you kidding me?
A:Well,that's not the worst part, imagine waking up the next day with her parents closed to me and asking me responsabilities.
B:Haha, it seems a joke.
A:Yes,yes, laugh,but imagine me as a father,man. I think that anybody would want me as a father,not even.
B:Yes, someone that was arrested in three times and is the biggest drunkard that I've ever seen, I think that it wouldn't be the best father figure that a child can have. Don't you think about the abortion?
A:Yes, but Nataly and Nataly's parents are really traditional.
B:How traditional they are?
A: The wedding will be the next month, you´re invited,of course.
B:What's the hell? Are you going to get marry with someone that you've met in a night. Do you get retard in these three days or what?
A:No,man, in these three days I've matured, I've understood that in charge of the responsabilities of all my acts, and if I had a mistake I have to...
B:You didn't have a crazy night with Nataly.
A:What...What do you mean?
B:I mean that you didn't have a crazy night because you were really drunk and when you were ready to have it, you went into comma. We promised that we'll keep the secret but I can't stand how you destroy your life.
A:Wait, wait, what's the meaning of we...?
B:Well, you didn't have a crazy night but Nataly does.
A:Don't kide me, you...
B:No,no,well,actually yes but it was a few minutes in comapration with others.
A:With others???
B:Yes, veryone enjoyed with her, I don't know what is the meaning of traditional for that chick, but is the strangest meaning that I've ever heard.
A: So why that bi... I mean, why Nataly told me that she's pregnant of me?
B: Well, I don't know but I think that she foundher desperate and instead say to her parents that the father could be any guy of the party, she decided to burden with the responsability to the fool guy that was in comma in the bed.
A:Why exist girls such as witches? And what I must do now? I don't want to be the father of something that even the mother doesn't know who is the biological father.Moreover, My parents are really proud for their first grandson, they have lost any hope to be grandparents. My flat is full of stupid stuffs of babies. Oh, man, this a nightmare.
B:Well, I'm going to give you the best advice that you'll never receive.
A:Which one?
B: Go abroad and start a new life, if I were you I'd go to China.
A:China?? Why??
B: Well, with that english so seemed to chinese it would be easier for you China.
A:Well, I'll leave right now.
B:Ah and I almost forget it, before you leave you should go to my home and pay my 20$ of the party.
A:Ok, it's thanked that the great friends help you in so hard moments.
B: Well, friends are for this. Good luck, man.
A:Go to hell.
A:Nothing, I'll miss you,guy.
A: Bye.

Conversation 2

A: Hey, Tom, Tom, are you there?? Tom!!
B:Who's it? Why is it speaking in chinese?
A:I'm speaking in english, damned retard, I'm Juan.
B:Hey, what's up, man? Are you having a good time in China?
A:Oh yes, I was having a good time till someone started to give a reward for me.
B:Oh, so, so you get famous in only one month. Well done, I've never imagined it from you. Well, now, seriously, the drugs there are more powerful or what?
A:Well, the drugs are good, but... Wait, wait, I'm not talking about that.
B: Well, say whatever you want to say at once.
A: Ok, what I want to say is that, at first it seemed a joke, but when a man entered in your home, breaking your door,with your photo in his hand, shouting in chinese and throwing you knifes. Your life changes.
B: Well,maybe a disatisfied boyfriend?
A:Do you believe that this is a funny situation, damned fool?
B:Or maybe someone that was insulted by you. The chinese are very respectful and two thirds parts of all the words that you say are insults, so look after your words if you don't want to receive a kick in your fat foreigner ass.
A; Don't test me Tom... Well, I got to scape from there by the window, the room was in the twenty-seventh floor and I don't know how I achieved it yet. When I got the street, a car stopped and three men kidnapped me.
B: And what was their proposes? Because I don't think that the chineses entertain kidnapping people.
A:I discovered their proposes later so let me tell the events the order, please. Well, they took me to a dark room and I felt in a movie, man: people shouting in your face and a guy smoking in the dark corner.
B:Yes, it could be the plot of a blockbuster, hey, do you know who I see the last saturday?
A:Surprise me.
B: Nataly, she was very affected,man. You've really hurt her.
A:And of whom it is the fault?
B:You can't scape from your responsabilities. She was so sad because she believed that something bad happened, so I had to calm her saying that you had to having fun in China.
A:Well, it explains everything.
B:It explains what?
A:Why you are so retard and why Nataly's father was in that room.
B:Oh, damn, sorry,man, you know that I have limitations.
A:Yes, it's seen to simple sight, and do you know that Nataly's father is a C.I.A. ex-agent expert in tortures? And so we were in China, he showed me how much efficient are the chinese tortures.
B:Well, at least you tried something traditional of China, and how are they?
A:There is no time to talk about that, but my low parts continue suffering it. Well, I took advantage of a distraction and I achieved to scape and, then, I've called you.
B: And what do you flirt that I do so far?
A:I don't know, I'm naked and I didn't know whom calling. Please, do something, call the army,the police, a ninjas or my parents. I don't care but do something.
B:Ok,ok... Oh, I have to hang up.
B:Nataly's waking up.
A:What!!?? What do you mean? I'm not for jokes Tom.
B:Goodbye man and good luck.
A:Wait a moment, wait a moment.

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